The Thing About Grief
If 2020 was the precursor to what 2021 would bring me, I should have braced myself for what was greeting me on the other side of the new year. When 2021 rolled in, I wouldn't say that I was overly excited or even optimistic for the possibilities of the new year ahead of me. I was riding the wave into the new year in hopes of the pandemic being pushed further and further away from my rearview mirror. I was hoping that we were well on our way to finding our groove back into the world. I knew that it would look and feel much different, but I was ready for whatever that looked like. As I sit here and try to collect my thoughts about the first quarter of the year, it's all a blur. I know that I was telling anyone who would listen that it still felt like 2020 and that we are now living in a simulation, because, at this point, nothing much had changed. The vaccine was rolling out and becoming available to more and more people, but everything still felt stagnant and the same.
I decided that what I needed to break the monotony was travel. I booked a trip to Mexico for April and was set to leave the week after Easter; just a week before my birthday. Springtime to me has always been God's way of reminding me about new life. Things from the earth that were barren and dead come back to life. I remember feeling really good about the change in weather and the flowers that were starting to bloom, and the birds were singing and chirping every morning by now. It was starting to feel good. There was a little bit more sun in the sky; I felt good about life. But God was giving me signs in ways that I should have been paying attention to. But nothing could have prepared me for what was coming.
On the morning of April the 8th of this year, I remember waking up and having several voicemails from my mother's phone number and some of her acquaintances. I remember being annoyed by the ridiculous number of voicemails. I played them, but the first one said, Kellee, Louryn is dead; call me back. Message number two, Kellee, call me, please. I remember thinking, why the fuck would anyone leave a message like that on someone's phone. Louryn is my mom. I dialed my mom's cellphone because I thought it was a mistake, and at this point, the wrath of hell was flowing through my veins. On the other end of her line, I was greeted by a friend of hers picking up and answering, telling me that they were sorry and that the police were there to get her body.
I remember holding my breath, and time felt like it stood still. I think my soul left me for a few minutes before I could process what was going on. On the other end of the phone, my mother's friend was talking to me, but I remember nothing of what he said. The following person on the other end of my line was the police. My mother had overdosed off of a bad batch of drugs that was laced with Fentanyl. She was gone. I kept thinking that someone didn't know what they were talking about and that she would never do some shit like that. My mother struggled with addiction her entire adult life, but she would never go as far as damn near killing herself. To say that I was devastated is not even close to what I felt or still feel. My mother was only 58 years old. That is too young to be going away from here with so much life ahead of you. I couldn't wrap my head around what the hell was happening to me.
My mom was such a free-spirited soul. She loved listening to good music, theater, and the arts. She was always teaching me and exposing me to different cultures and people from all walks of life. My short time with her had a significant impact on my life. She ingrained so much of herself into my very own soul. I would be lying if I painted the picture that things were always good with her. They were not, not by a long shot. But it doesn't take away from the fact that she was my mother. She created me, birthed me, and gave me a fighting chance in such a big crazy world. She taught me so many important things about life; God, survival, self-perseverance, and most importantly, resiliency. So how do you mourn the loss of someone with whom you've had such a tumultuous relationship with? My emotions fluctuate on the spectrum of anger, deep sadness, and emptiness. More empty than anything.
The following months after my mom died were some of the most isolating times of my life. You see, when your mom is an addict and has a terrible reputation of screwing people over and burning bridges, people don't come around or reach out when they pass. Some relatives even went as far as saying, “it was only a matter of time.” Everyone called in the first few days to see what happened, but then, it was radio silence. My mom's brother and his daughter put something together for my mom's cremation, and that was that. It was over. It was final. I still didn't believe that she was dead, even with her remains sitting in the urn downstairs on the table. I would sleep a lot and ask God to help her as if she was still here; I would call her phone and see if she would pick up. I would talk to myself and ask her what happened that night, but I couldn't feel her. I would ask Karina at random if my mom was really dead. I would spend hours looking at old photos of her trying to ingrain her memory in my brain of how she looked. Her hair, the color of her eyes, her half crooked smile. I didn’t want to loose her. Karina tried her best to keep me busy, but she eventually left for the summer to do some training with her job. For the first time since my mom passed, I was alone.
I thought I would be okay, but then it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I had what you would call delayed grief. Once Karina left, I was alone with my thoughts, and I was breaking down day by day. There was no more serotonin left in my brain. I thought about dying every day. I wanted to just kill myself. It’s like I was starving for oxygen, and I could find it anywhere. I was suffocating in my own grief. On one particular evening, I was so distraught that I had broken down while doing the dishes. The dog was so worried that he began licking the tears off of my face. Rudi was so upset by my breakdown that even he was crying. Rudi felt helpless. He had never seen me so emotional. As I slowed my breathing down, I gathered myself and put a cool rag on my face. That night, I cursed God. I cursed God in one breath and prayed to Him in the next breath to help me because I was going to end it.
I still have days like the one I just described. Some days I am okay, and other days a memory will flood my mind, a song will play on the radio, or I will have a dream of my mom that sends me into deep grief. I don't think I will ever be the same. My mother was the only person on earth that called me Keke; she was the only person who ever loved me with her entire life, the only person that constantly told me how proud she was of me, the only person who had probably ever properly loved me. She would always tell me that I was her firstborn and that she had never seen anything more perfect and pure than me. She couldn't believe that I came from her. She named me Kellee DeLorean Green. De means of, and Lorean means Louryn. Put them together, and DeLorean means of Louryn. And now she is gone. It's like a piece of my soul is dead. I don't think I will ever look at life the same. I've always been aware that we can be here one day and gone the next. But here lately, it's more like here today, gone today.
Looking back at it all, God was sending me signs. But you know, God's voice can be still and small. Ever since I was a little girl, I have had dreams of things to come. I can feel things before they happen. The night before my Nanna died, I stayed awake all night crying and shaking because I could feel my Nanna soul leaving me. I was inconsolable, and my mother could not soothe me no matter what she tried. We didn't know that my Nanna would die that night. The following day, the priest came to our door to deliver the message that she had passed in the night. A few nights before my mother died, I dreamt of a black widow spider. Black widows are a bad omen, but I couldn't feel my mom for some reason. I just thought it pertained to me. I thought it was a sign for me to be careful. Our hydrangea bush always blooms early and is completely full way before summer. This year it remained barren, and the flowers didn't really bloom. I took it as another sign. Also, my hair didn't grow this year. Everything about this year has been death. I went to Croatia at the end of summer and almost stepped on a snake after dreaming of one the night before, another bad omen.
I am not sure what my future looks like, but I am taking it one day at a time, sometimes, one second at a time. Grief is a strange thing, and it can look different for everyone. I am willing to tell anyone that will listen that I am have not been okay this year. Usually, we say that we're fine by default when someone asks how we're doing, but I have been saying not so good when I am asked. I find that it makes people a little uncomfortable, but that's okay with me. I don't really care how comfortable people feel these days. I am just living in my truth and in my grief. I think, to go forward in life, you have to sit through some uncomfortable shit at times. So while I plan on sitting in this grief, I also plan on doing the work to get me to a healthier state of mind. My mother's tragic ending of life will always take up a sad spot in my heart, but if I have learned anything over this past year, it's that life is for living. Do all the things you have always wanted to do; you can be here today and gone today.Most importantly, tell your loved ones that you love them, regardless of whatever issues you have with them. Once a person has transitioned away from this earth, that is it. Love on them and let them know that you care.
I want to mention how incredible my two best friends have been to me during this time. Karina for always taking such excellent care of me and loving me through one of the worst times of my life. I know this has been one of the most trying years ever, but I love you forever and always until we are old lady ghosts. Me, you, and Rudi until the wheels fall off. For Crystal, who has also lost a parent this year and another one the year before last. Crystal drove down immediately to be with me for a few days when my mom died. She has been a constant friend for over the past twenty-something-odd years. We are the same person, just living parallel lives. I don't know where I'd be without either one of them. My mom once told me that you are blessed if you have just one good friend.
Thank you, guys, for taking the time out to swing by and catch up. I hope that wherever you are in the world, you are blessed, healthy, and loved. I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the new year. I feel the shift happening already. I can tell that this upcoming year will bring a lot of growth and change. I am so ready for all thats waiting for me. I plan on doing a lot more journal-type writing about my travels over 2020 and 2021. Be looking out for those posts soon. Until next time. Ciao
P.S. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please get help; there are people out there who love and need you.
Where Have I Been
As I sit here staring out of the windowpane in my hotel room in Istanbul, I can’t help but notice how sullen and overcast the sky looks outside. I know that most of you all have probably been wondering where the hell I’ve been. It’s been a while; I know, guys. So much has happened since the last time I have written anything on this platform. 2020 has been one of the strangest years that I have experienced in my life thus far. When the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve, I remember feeling hopeful for the intentions that I had set for myself for the year 2020. Never would I have imagined the type of year that was in store for us all. I have attempted to write this several times, and each of those times, I get too emotional to publish. So bear with me, please. I am not sure that I have come to terms with what this year has thrown at me.
I was set to do some traveling in SE Asia in late January and return to the states in early March. There had been news of a nasty virus brewing over in China. I wasn’t worried about it one bit. On the other hand, my family and friends were ringing me non-stop, asking if I was still going to SE Asia. My father, in particular, was worried about my health. He didn’t want me getting sick, rightfully so. We’d have chats with my Uncle Frank, who just so happens to be a doctor for the CDC, to get his opinion on everything. Uncle Frank ensured that I would be fine, but to take precautions. He said to wear a mask and use hand sanitizer, and to wash my hands religiously. Even though my uncle assured my dad that I would be okay, he was still very hesitant about me taking the trek all the way to the belly of the beast, or shall we say, near the beast. I want to tell you guys that I had no expectations at all for SE Asia. I couldn’t have dreamed up what these countries would be like. I was going in blind. My route would be to fly into Bangkok, cross over into Cambodia, and then make my way into Vietnam. After Vietnam, I would fly to Malaysia to visit a good friend who just had a baby and end my trip back in Phuket, Thailand. I want to say right here, right now, that my trip to SE Asia changed my life. I had never been away trekking and exploring any part of the world for the length of time that I spent in SE Asia. This trip allowed me the space to think and feel and experience things that were missing in my life back home. I felt so much better in my mind, body, and soul than I have in a very long time…actually since ever! I can’t honestly tell you a time when I felt that good. My overall sense of well being was elevated to a higher level. Anyone who truly knows me knows that my dream is to leave the United States. I won’t get into all of that here, but if you know, you know!
As time was winding down in SE Asia, I remember feeling a sense of dread in the upcoming days of my return home. I remember sitting outside on my patio in Phuket feeling melancholy while the breeze blew gently and the birds sang sweetly to me. I was having an inner dialogue with myself about extending my stay. Ultimately, it came down to me needing to be back in the US on time to attend Women’s Travel Fest in NYC. I got back on March 1. Women’s Travel Fest was on March 5…I think, not sure about the exact date, but you get my drift. I didn’t even have time to properly snuggle and inhale my dog before catching my next flight. I was still very jet-lagged, and it was freezing in New York. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that I was returning home to the chaos of what was then the early stage of the COVID- 19 Pandemic. I remember getting a call in New York from Karina and her telling me that the governor was hinting at shutting things down and that toilet paper was nowhere to be found. I was like, what, where is it? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Why are people freaking out here? No one was freaking out back in the Asian countries that I had literally just come from less than a week ago. I got back from New York, and the state of Virginia immediately went on a strict lock down. I made it back by the skin of my teeth. Maybe I was delirious, or perhaps I wasn’t paying attention, but within the next week, after I returned from New York, that state was the epicenter of the Pandemic in the US. Everything just felt so strange to me. I couldn’t even process my tip that I had just taken. Everything was moving so fast. One day I’m out trekking the world, and then the next, I am locked down and can’t move. At first, I thought, surely, we can get a handle on this quickly and return to our normal lives. Sadly, it is now the end of October and we are worse off than when we first started. When this all began in March, I was very hopeful. I was very much at peace and hopeful for what the future would bring. But as those weeks turned into months, and months, and months, that peace and hope has slowly turned into a gnawing feeling of uncertainty that keeps me up at night. There is no pretty way of saying this, but shit has literally hit the fan here in America, and I don’t know how to process it. I don’t know how to feel about it. I don’t know anything. I am literally taking all of this one day at a time. You add social unrest, political tension from the upcoming elections, and a pandemic all together, and that makes a recipe for a disaster of a nation.
IIn the earlier months, when the weather wasn't so oppressively hot, Karina and I would spend our days doing work from home, taking multiple walks, cooking up delicious meals, baking, catching up on our shows, reading all kinds of books, and playing with Rudi. We were still hopeful that things would blow over. But as we rolled into the summer, I started to feel aggravated by the state of things. We still have more or less of the same routine, but we walked less and argued more. It was too hot during the summer months to go out. I was aggravated by everything. Even the thought of waking up early enough before the sun to catch a cool breeze by the ocean pissed me off. I used to love being by the sea, and now, nothing soothes me. I feel trapped. I feel like the walls are caving in on me. I was, and still am, in and out of the throes of depression. I no longer have the patience for the most minor of inconveniences. What has happened to me? I don't want to come out of this pandemic and completely lose myself. I find myself nostalgic for days when all was '"right in the world." Sitting up at night restless for the sound of the early morning birds singing to me sweetly in Thailand. I look through old photos trying to go back in time to a place that makes me feel good. I know that we never lived in a utopian society before this, but damnit, it wasn't this madness that we're living in right now. Hearing people say, "We're all in this together," is so vapid and useless…..I can't bear to listen to it!
I don’t like to complain because I know that things can always be worse and can still get worse. I am so blessed. I live very well. I have a home to live in, food to eat, and I am healthy. God is so good. I will always boast of how good God is to me. I may be having a hard time dealing with this, but I know that I have to trust Him and that He has the perfect plan for my life and for all of the other crazy things that are happening right now in the world. But I need the space to be sad and to be grateful all at the same damn time, because that’s just how I am feeling these days. Sadness and gratefulness are not mutually exclusive, in case you were wondering.
The one good thing that came out of this quarantine is that I was able to get certified to teach English as a Second/Foreign Language. As of now, I teach several students from all over the world via Zoom and Skype. My students are lovely. I treasure my time with them because even though they are learning English from me, I am able to learn from them as well through different cultural exchanges. My heart is always happy and full when I’m with my students. So there’s the silver lining in all of this. The world had to come to a complete stop for me to sit still long enough to take the time to complete my training to get certified for something that I love doing. Something that will open a lot of doors for me once the world opens back up. I also had the extreme privilege of helping my best friend bring her baby girl into the world on July 31, 2020. Baby Nora Adrian Ann was born during COVID times, but her birth was beautiful and amazing. Because of the pandemic, Crystal was only allowed to have one other person in the room with her during her delivery, and she chooses me. My heart is beaming with love and happiness and gratitude as if this baby girl is my own. She is the light of our lives right now during these really crazy times.
Sadly, guys, we are now in October, and the end is nowhere near in sight. America is now the laughing stock of the world and things just get more ridiculous by the day. I decided to get out of the country for a while and go to Turkey. Turkey has always been on my list of places to explore. Currently, they are one of the very few countries letting Americans in with out restrictions. I plan on writing about my time in Turkey and traveling during a pandemic soon. But I wanted to catch you guys up on where I’ve been first. If you’re reading this, I hope this finds you in good health and in good spirits. Please take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Sending out love and light. Until next time. CIAO
Paris and The French Riviera
As I sat on the couch sometime in late September of last year, I was hard core thinking about my birthday that wasn't until April of the following year. Now, I know you're probably thinking, who thinks about their birthday so far ahead of time. I do. This girl does. I was probably having a moment where I was rounding up my age and thinking, damn, your almost 40. You need to go somewhere for your birthday next year and celebrate.
Rudi Fennikiss
The sitter sent me this while I was in France. How handsome is my boy. Get used to seeing his cute face. He'll pop up randomly on other entires over time.
Now, let me just back track for the sake of giving you a glimpse of what my schedule was looking like for the rest of the year. I was prepping to go to Israel and Jordan for the entire month of November, give or take a few days. I had a major surgery scheduled, (the key word = MAJOR) for the first week of December upun returning home from my trip to the Middle East. Yet, there I was, in full on planning mode, purchasing tickets, making accommodations, and semi sort of making an itinerary for France. If you haven't caught on by now, I can get an idea in my head and run with it before I even know what it's blossomed into, but we'll talk more about that in another post.
Fast forward and it's finally April. The time has come. I don't know about you guys, but there is a lot of build up in my house pre travel. It gets pretty hectic, and as much as I am a planner and like to have things organized, its always helter skelter in this house. We have to make sure travel documents are ready, passports are go to go, the mail is on hold, the dogs arrangements for his sitter is taken care of, and the list literally goes on. But, never the less, I LOVE that feeling because it lets me know that it's almost go time. And go time it was! As a disclaimer, I usually travel solo on all of my trips around the world, but this time I was very happy to bring along my best friend Karina. This was her first time traveling this far on her own will (she's in the military).
We leave for the airport and everything goes smoothly and we board our first flight. We layed over in Charlotte N.C. for two hours and then we were off to get on the the last leg of our flight to Paris. We arrive at Charles de Gaulle around 7 a.m. and for some reason, we felt that we could be brave girls and carry on with the day as if we didn't just cross the Atlantic and go through several time zones. After we leave the airport and start heading to the Airbnb my heart gets all warm and fuzzy from the nostalgia of the last time I was in Paris. It is still the same strong effect on me. A charming and romantic city with beautiful people and scenery and architecture that will make you swoon. I flirt with the thought of never returning home back to America. Being in Paris instantly evokes a vibe that I can't quite put into words. I LOVE this city. We immediately checked into our Airbnb, took showers, put on fresh clothes, and we went out the door desperate to take in all that Paris had to offer.
This was not my first time being in Paris so I was already a little familiar with the area. Anytime I am in Paris I always stay in the 3rd arrondissement, also known as Le Marias. Le Marias can be described as a chic little area of Paris that offers tons of boutique shopping, cafes, flower shops, exclusive art galleries, fresh boulangeries, and beautiful organic markets for produce. It is also home to the Musée de Picasso (Picasso Museum) and much more. Just a fabulous area to stay in while you're in Paris on holiday.
Beautiful view of La Marias right at sunset.
Morning rooftops of Paris
Can we just stop for moment and talk about how real jet lag is. I am the type of person that doesn't sleep a wink on long haul flights because the odds are just never in my favor and I am always too uncomforatbale being cramped into the microscopic sized seats the airlines have now a days. I tell ya, its almost impossible to be comfortable, especially when flying economy, but thats neither here or there. Our first couple of days in Paris were semi miserable because we would start out eager in the morning ready to explore and take it all in, but by noon we were basically being thrashed by hard core jet lag and we could not come out of it. No amount of expresso or energy drinks could fix that. We were ready to crash hard before 3 p.m. for about four days straight. I was so cranky and nothing pleased me. You may say, but Kellee, you're in Paris. Yes, that is true, but I am the type of person who can't function or enjoy anything when I'm tired. Karina was equally feeling the effects.
Candid shot of me struggling to try and stay awake for the remainder of the day after a failed attempt of exploring the streets of Paris. It was only 2:30 p.m. I wanted to sleep so badly. Jetlag!
Before we jump into all of the lovely sites that we explored around Paris, I want talk about how we navigated the city. We opted to buy the Paris Pass to get us into a lot of the sites with out having to wait in line. We also took full advantage of the one day hop on-hop off bus tour that come with the purchase of the Paris Pass. Depending on what company you buy the Paris Pass through, they offer a free hop on hop off bus tour that allows you to explore the city sites at your leisure for that day and you can get on and off as much as you like. Its a very convenient way to become acquainted with the city when you've just arrived and are dealing with a bit of jet lag. The lines can be pretty long during peak season in Paris so its definitely something to consider. The Paris Pass might not be right for you if you plan on leisurely spacing your visits to the sites out over several days. It is something that has be used consecutively. For example, if you buy the three day pas, you have to use it back to back to back during all three days. You can't just pick three separate calendar days. So its something to think about according to your schedule and how much time you will have. We also used Uber quite a bit while in the city. It works very well. All of the drivers were pleasant and spoke enough English to communicate basic dialogue to get you to and from your destination. Paris is also a very walkable city. One doesn't need to rely heavily on Uber to get around in Paris. Thier public transportation is also very efficient and I highly recommend it. It is how I got around during my last visit to Paris, however, during the time of our stay there was a transportation strike going on countrywide that effected all modes of transportation severly.
On to the sites
Notre Dame: A beautiful Gothic cathedral with amazing architecture built int he Middle Ages. Its beautiful to capture a photo of this masterpiece while on a cruise going down the Seine River.
The architecture is amazing on this cathedral.
The Louvre: The Louvre is an iconic museum that is home to many amazing pieces of art from almost every era of time in history. The Louvre is home to the Mona Lisa, Venus de Milo, Liberty Landing the People, and my all time favorite; The Oath of Horatii. The Louvre doesn't disappoint. It's an art lovers dream. Not to be missed. You can spend hours in there drooling over the millions of masterpieces on display and you still wouldn't see everything.
Arc de Triomphe: The Arc de Triomphe is a monument that sits right off the Champs-Élysées. It is home to France's Tomb of The Unknown Soldier. You will find many tourist standing in the streets of the Champs- Élysées taking pictures of this beautiful monument. You can go to the top for an areal view of Paris for a fee of 12 euro per adult. The entry for children is free.
Palais Garnier, (The Opera House): Ya know the saying that some things can't be described, they have to be experienced; this is one of those things. The Palais Garnier seats a little over 1900 people and they have shows such as ballets and operas all year long. During our tour it was interesting to learn that they sell out of seats almost every day. There is no such thing as an off season at the Palais Garnier. Another must see, not to be missed! The pictures do this place no justice. Very sad that we weren't able to make a show while visiting the city. It has always been a dream of mine to go to an opera.
The Palace of Versailles: The palace is literally dripping and oozing gold in every corner, crack, and crevice. The King spared no expense on his digs. Very beautiful inside and out, but what is most breath taking are the gardens. You could spend hours just visiting the elaborate gardens in Versailles. I must admit that I was a bit underwhelmed with the palace part. I think it had something to do with the massive crowds. I could barley move an inch without someone stepping on the backs of my heels or brushing against me on both sides. Thats not a good time for me at all. I have massive anxiety in settings with large crowds. I try to keep the anxiety at bay and I am usually very mindful, especially when I am visiting tourist destinations that can potentially be packed, but the crowd on this particular day had me ready to crawl out of my skin. The gardens were the perfect escape and remedy to the super crowded palace. Although I couldn't handle the crowd, I enjoy the parts that I did see.
Outside entrance to get into Versailles
Kings Chambers
The Hall of Mirrors
I desperately tried to get a better shot here but it was impossible.
Queens Chambers
I really want to say these were Marie Antoinettes chambers for when she stayed in the palace, but she also has her own estate on Versailles, so I don't want to misspeak here.
Just the beginning of the gardens. The gardens stretch out for miles and miles.
Amongst the gardens
The gates to the palace. We were leaving for the day and decided to get a quick photo with no other people around.
The Eiffel Tower: No matter how many times I come to Paris, seeing the Eiffel Tower never gets old to me. It's beautiful during the day and she sparkles and comes to life during the night. The lights cut on at 9 p.m. and sparkle every hour after that on the hour. It really is amazing, and its another must see, when in Paris. I suggest going to Trocadero to get a good view of her during the day and take a river cruise at sunset to see her sparkle and light up at night. And don't worry about being out late, Parisians are quite the night owls and the city lives during the night. There will be plenty of people out strolling around and is security is tight all over Paris. I felt completely safe during the entire time of my stay. The key is situational awareness at all times.
Trocadero viewing point of the Eiffel Tower
Isn't she lovely
Right a dusk. It had just turned 9 p.m. and our river cruise has just pulled back in the dock. Perfect timing.
Sparkle time
You'd have to be there to see just how beautiful and magical it really is.
Montmartre, and the Sacré-Coeur: Montmartre is in the 18th arrondissement in Paris. It is home to the Sacré-Coer Basilica that can be noticed towering high on the hill. You can enjoy this hip little arrondissement walking through out the hills and exploring different shops and cafés. We didn't get to explore all of Montmartre like we wanted because jet lag was still rearing its ugly head. While visiting the Basilica we were lucky enough to be able to sit in on mass and hear the nuns singing their prayers. It made me nostalgic of my old catholic school days. We didn't take many pictures inside of the basilica for the sake of being respectful to the people who their worshiping. Upon exiting the church you have an amazing view of the city form atop of the hill that the church sits on.
Sacré-Coure
Descending from the hill that the Basilica sits on in Montmartre.
Champs Elysées: The Champs Elysées is a long street full of shopping. However, don't be surprised when you find almost all of the same stores that you have access to at home here on this row. There are a few high end shops such as Cartier, Louis Vuitton, Tiffany and Co, and the highly favored macron shop, Ladurée, but for the most part it's filled with stores that we have here in the U.S. I mentioned Ladurée because I believe that deserves special recognition. Laduré is a shop that specializes in macrons and they are AMAZING. I ate so many macrons during my time in France that I could be a connoisseur. If theres one thing that France does right, it's their pastries and desserts. I have never in my life had desserts as good as I had in France.
The strawberry candy flavor is unlike anything I have ever tasted. Quite delectable!
Champs Elysées shopping.
The possibilities are endless with yummy treats inside of Ladurée.
One of the many parks right off the Champs Elysées. Perfect spot for an afternoon picnic.
And now, the moment that I suspect you've all been waiting for, The French Riviera, also known as the Côte d'Azur. We split our two weeks in half in France by staying in Paris for the first half and we picked Nice as base for the second half to explore the French Riviera. I will start out by saying that I have only seen and heard how amazingly beautiful the South of France was before I decided to go there. It is jaw dropping beautiful and such a stark contrast to Paris.
We traveled to the South of France by an SNCF train. We booked our tickets for the train way ahead in advance as they tend to fill up fast. We were worried about getting there because of the transportation strike, but we got lucky on that day. We managed to book the only train leaving from Paris going to Nice that day. The train was slammed pack. Thank heavens for the intuition to book ahead.
The train ride was around five hours and some change. It was such a beautiful ride watching the city fade into pristine green fields of proviencial country side that ended in coastal views of various deep turquoise shades of clear blue/green sea. I knew from the views outside of my window on the train that I was loosing control and entering into a trance with my eyes fixed on all the surrounding beauty. I had fallen deeply in love with the South of France and I wanted to do nothing more than debark the train and go explore. As we come to our stop I get excited, the kind of excitement that I get when I look at my dog for the first time when I awake him in the morning and smell his neck and ears and smother him with smooches (racing heartbeat and a tingly heart). I couldn't believe that I was actually there in the French Riviera.
The neighborhood right outside of our Airbnb.
Before I go any further, I would just like to warn you guys that our stay in French Riviera was cut short due to the transpiration strike. We ended up leaving a few days early due to the lack of trains running. If we didn't leave early we would have been stuck in the South of France past the date of our return flight going back to the U.S. I am going to need for the Department of Transportation in France to get their act all the way together. Cutting into my holiday time (insert angry face). We originally planed to visit Cannes, Eze, Antibes, and Monaco while there, but was only able to visit Nice. Cannes, Eze, Monaco, and Antibes are all a short bus ride away from Niece, so it would have been ideal to do day trips. But not to worry, we will absolutely be returning soon.
I also ended up coming down with a really bad sinus and upper respiratory infection during my stay in Nice. I woke up on our second day in Nice ready to go out and explore only for my body to protest with aches and pain and fever. The cool thing about France is their phenomenal health care system. I did some research and learned that doctors will come out to your home and see you. Theres no reason to go in unless its really serious. I got a recommendation for a doctor from my property manager and with in an hour of making the call to the doctors office the doctor showed up and examined and treated me all for under 100 euros. That is AMAZING guys! France could teach the U.S. a thing or two about health care.
After spending a full 24 hours of recovering, resting, and taking care of myself, it was time to set out and explore the beautiful South of France.
Our first view of the surrounding area of the city of Nice.
An aerial view of the city with the beautiful snow caped Swiss Alps in the back.
Our days were spent strolling along the Promenade de Anglais taking in the beautiful sights right off the shore. We could walk for hours just admiring the beautiful blue sea and taking in the tantalizing smells of delicious food wafting through the air. We set into a carefree rhythm of existence while in the French Riviera. The vibe was so laid back and relaxing. A very good place to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city in Paris. I found myself so focused on the present moment, just taking it all in as if I would die right on the spot if I let my mind wander to any other place at that given time. I wanted to really sit with the joy that my soul was feeling during that time. After going through a grueling first quarter of the year I was finally able to breath in and exhale with a real release. This was just what the doctor ordered.
Promenade de Anglais
The beaches are filled with people at all hours of the day. I there is one thing that I have learned while traveling in France, it is that they really appreciate and savor their time. Whether they are casually sitting at a cafe for hours on end drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes or just sitting at the beach catching a sea breeze, they enjoy their time. They do not rush to get to the other responsibilities that beckon them through the day. This is a culture that I could get used to.
The best pizza and caesar salad that I have ever had the privilege to taste!
We ate and drank and ate and drank some more. We would gorge ourself on desert pastries and macron as if our lips would never taste anything as good as what we were eating at that given moment for as long as we lived. I would describe it as an intense gastronomical experience of bliss. After filling our bellies to limit we'd walk even more and explore.
The highlight of my time during our stay was when we walked up Castle Hill for the most breath taking views of the coast. There are several look out points once you climb up. There is even a waterfall if you reach all the way to the very top. beautiful if you can catch it while its running full.
The stairs leading to the climb up Castle Hill
The climb up was moderate but so beautiful and scenic along the path with several rest spots if you need to catch your breath and take break.
Finally we reach the top. This view is worth every step.
After soaking up the views and getting our second wind about us, we take off to explore more of Castle Hill. As we continue on and follow more of the path, we discover an entire park up there with ancient cobblestones filled with art from days of old. Its quite lively but it has a peaceful and relaxing vibe to it still. There are more look out points to the port side of the coast. There's even an ice ream shop that sells cones and frozen fruit pops. It was magical on top of that hill. I didn't want to go back. I found myself hinting at Karina to stay just a bit longer.
Steps that lead to the park and the port view.
Ancient art along the park path on Castle Hill.
Yacht heaven. Another beautiful view.
Our time was nothing short of amazing while we were in France. We took full advantage of every day and still wish that we had more time in the beautiful French Rivera. It will be long on our minds for quite some time. I can easily see myslef investing in some property somewhere along the coast in the the South of France. As our time quickly came for us to leave and head back to Paris to fly back to the United States, we were grateful and humbled to be able to say that we got relax and hang out in the South of France. These memories will last a lifetime.
I will always be in love with the Côte d'Azur. Until next time. Au revoir....Abientôt